Safety Planning
The most important thing for victims of domestic violence is safety. If you are in an abusive situation, we encourage you to develop a safety plan. A safety plan is a comprehensive plan for protecting yourself and your children from domestic violence and/or to help you safely escape from the violence and your abuser. Often, writing out your plan helps you regain security and control of your life. Remember, this plan should be used as a guide and a reminder of ways you and your family can increase your safety.
If you are a teenager in an abusive dating relationship or you are the parent of a child or teenager who is exposed to an abusive environment, encourage them to develop a youth safety plan.
The safety plan should be hidden in a safe place where the abuser is unlikely to find it. It should also be reviewed and updated on a regular basis if the situation or living environment changes.
You can call our 24-Hour Hotline at (904) 354-3114 or (800) 500-1119 and an advocate will help you create a safety plan or you can download your own printable version of an adult and/or youth safety plan.
If you need to leave, try to take with you…
- Marriage and driver’s licenses
- Birth certificates (yours and family’s)
- Money, checkbooks, credit cards, ATM cards, mortgage payment book, car title
- Social Security card, work permit, green card, passport, visa
- Divorce, custody papers and restraining order
- Insurance papers and medical records
- Lease, rental agreement and/or house deed
- School and health records
- Keys (house, car, office, friend’s)
- Medications, glasses, hearing aids, etc. needed by you and your family
- Personal items (address book, pictures, toys)
- Copies of your spouse’s green card or social security card and all immigration related documents
- Benefit card
Safety During an Explosive Incident
- Go to an area that has an exit: Not a bathroom, kitchen, or near any hard surfaces, weapons, or items that could be used as weapons.
- Stay in a room with a phone: Call 911, a friend or a neighbor if possible. Inform them if there are weapons in the home.
- Know your escape route: Practice how to get out of your home safely. Visualize your escape route.
- Have a packed bag ready: Keep it hidden in a handy place in order to leave quickly, or leave the bag elsewhere if the abuser searches your home.
- Devise a code word or signal: Tell your children, friends or neighbors so you can communicate to them that you need the police.
- Know where you’re going: Plan where you will go if you have to leave home, even if you don’t think you’ll need to.
- Trust your judgment: Consider anything that you feel will keep you safe and give you time to figure out what to do next. Sometimes it is best to leave right away, sometimes it is best to stay until your abuser calms down — anything that works to protect yourself and the children.
Safety When Preparing to Leave
(Leaving can be the most dangerous time.)
- Have a safe place to stay: Make sure it is a place that can protect you and your children or grandchildren.
- Call the Hubbard House 24-Hour Hotline at (904) 354-3114 or (800) 500-1119: Find out which services are available as options. Keep the contact information handy at all times.
- Find someone you trust: Leave money, extra keys, copies of important documents and clothing with them in advance, so you can leave quickly, if necessary.
- Open a savings account: Put it in your name only. Try safely to put money in your private account when possible.
- Review your safety plan: Update your safety plan as your situation and environment changes. Remember to keep this in a safe place.
Safety in Your Home
(If the abuser does not live with you)
- Upgrade your security system: Change the locks on doors and windows if needed. Consider a security service, window bars, outside lighting, etc.
- Have a safety plan: Teach your children how to call the police in case of an emergency. Have a secret code word that you and your children agree on. This word can be used to communicate trouble and for the trusted individuals who are allowed to pick the children up.
- Change your phone number: Screen your calls. Save all threatening messages or those that violate any court orders. Consider an unpublished number.
- Talk to neighbors and landlord: Inform them that the abuser no longer lives with you and that they should call the police if they see the abuser near your home.
- Get legal advice: Find a lawyer knowledgeable about domestic violence to explore custody, visitation and divorce provisions that protect you and the children. Discuss getting an injunction for protection as an option. The abuser may be mandated to the Hubbard House First Step batterers’ intervention program. Additionally, contact Hubbard House to find out about the services available to victims.
Safety and Your Children
- Tell schools and childcare: Let them know who has permission to pick up the children and give them your code word. Discuss with them other request you have to protect you and your children. Provide a picture of the abuser if possible.
- Exchange children in a safe place: Find a safe place to exchange the children for visitation. Contact Hubbard House for more information.
Safety on the Job
- Tell somebody: Decide whom at work you will inform of your situation. This may include office security if available. Provide a picture of the abuser if possible. It is your right to request and expect confidentiality from those you disclose to.
- Screen your calls: Consider creating a calendar or journal which logs calls or activity by the abuser which takes place while you are at your work place. It is a good idea to let someone you trust know about this.
- Make a safety plan: Create a safety plan for when you enter and leave your work place. Have someone escort you to your vehicle or other transportation.
If you and the abuser work at the same place, discuss with your supervisor your options regarding scheduling, safety precautions, employee/family benefits.
In an emergency call 911.